How to Deal with Rejection in Singing
Rejection and dealing with negative criticism is just part of the singer’s life but that doesn’t mean its easy to deal with.
When you’re struggling to sing with confidence and find your groove musically the last thing you need is someone telling you they don’t like how you’re singing or to criticize you when you finally make the leap to the stage.
Unfortunately, everyone who has a voice thinks they are a critic and so comments and opinions will always be there. It goes for anyone who dares to publicly display their creativity – whether that be singing on stage, writing songs, sharing artwork, even expressing your creativity through the way you dress. If you dare to be different, you will come up against people who, for whatever reason, want to share their opinion with you.
So, how do you deal with rejection and negative comments? That’s what we’ll be dealing with in today’s vid.
Here’s how to deal with rejection in singing.
1. Take a breather and revisit the email/ rejection later with fresh eyes.
If you receive a negative email or comment, instead of responding negatively in kind, take 10 mins or sleep on it if you’re really upset.
Do NOT bite back or email back something like, “FU I’m awesome. What do you know anyway!” This is a sure fire way to ruin relationships.
2. Don’t take it personally
Very hard not to but most of the time people are just expressing how they feel about the work you’ve produced not necessarily you as a singer.
If someone says ‘you suck’ – then they’re not being productive, they don’t care about you and are being a DICK so just ignore those douchebags but most people will criticize the WORK not you.
3. Get a second opinion
What one person hates, another will love. The fact is that most people are not musically trained and so they can’t give you an educated opinion on your singing anyway. They just provide an opinion based on what they personally like.
If in doubt, find someone with training who you respect and know will offer constructive criticism rather than personal opinion.
PS: Never ask fellow musicians because they will often be the most critical. Its more about them than you.
Did you like this video? If you did let me know in the comments below.
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Thank you so much for your insights about singing and the music business. This topic is interesting to me and I want to tell you how rejection put me on the path to happiness. After a hiatus I decided I wanted to get back to playing out and auditioned for a local startup country rock band. I was told my voice was not powerful enough for what they were looking for. I thought about it and decided they were right. I have a more mellow singing style – more like James Taylor than say Rodger Daltry. I started looking for a project more suitable to my capabilities and I found a partner who was looking for the same thing. We started an acoustic rock duo and have been playing out for over a year now. Word is getting out and there are more and more gigs coming our way. I’ve never been happier! Feedback is a good thing and as you say – don’t take it personally. But do give it some consideration. It just may help you find true happiness in the music business.
Congrats on the acoustic duo! Sounds exciting 🙂
thanks this was really useful. I have just sung a song that i really really practiced and both the bass player and the acoustic guitar player said my delivery was crap. That I sounded flat. I will go back and look at the dynamics and try to think of really sad things while i sing it again, and practice, but it was really hard to hear that after I thought I had done so well.
Remember, the best musicians are encouraging. They don’t put other musicians down. Unskilled musicians make others feel bad to cover up their lack of skill. Keep that in mind next time your band mates try to tell you your delivery is crap. If they said it in a constructive way, then that’s ok but if they just made you feel bad about yourself, find new band members. Bands need singers.
Nicola is right on the money! Truly gifted musicians(vocalists) are humble and do not engage in negativity. The fragile ego control freaks with minimal talent and knowledge cut others down to compensate for their lack of skills. The great ones encourage, not discourage.
I just committed an audition and was rejected two times. She said my breathing could be a bit better. I cried for days after thinking I could never go back to singing, until I saw this. It gave me the confidence to go back and do what I love to do.
I was in a music course where musicians often told me I wasn’t good enough. It’s true that ones who criticise often don’t have any business to say my voice isn’t up to scratch anyway .they were the ones who failed the whole course.